Quiet Coping Skills
Discreet ways to manage overwhelming feelings at school, work, or anywhere.
What are quiet coping skills?
Quiet Coping Skills are subtle but effective ways to privately regulate emotions without attracting scrutiny from others. These techniques aim to interrupt overwhelming feelings by focusing on specific physical tasks and simple mantras. Coping skills don’t eliminate overwhelming feelings, but they do make them more manageable.
When to Use Quiet Coping Skills
Implement coping skills at the first sign of dysregulation. This takes practice! Start here:
Identify Triggers: Reflect on past feelings and behaviors and try to identify specific situations, events, or interactions that consistently give rise to dysregulated feelings. If possible, consider realistic ways to modify environments, adjust routines, or adapt to uncomfortable situations. Avoiding or minimizing triggers is not always possible though, which is why coping skills are important!
Recognize Signs: Reflect on past feelings and behaviors and try to identify physical signs associated with dysregulation. Some common signs of impending dysregulation include: increased heart rate, tense muscles, shallow breathing, racing thoughts, a sense of panic, and difficulty concentrating. When signs are recognized early, there is an opportunity to intervene before rational thinking is disengaged.
Acknowledge Feelings: Reflect on past feelings and behaviors and acknowledge emotional dysregulation without judgment. This builds the self-empathy and resilience required to change ingrained destructive behaviors and unhealthy thought patterns.
Mindfulness practice can help kids learn how to recenter themselves in times of upset. Try our free mindfulness activities and explore our selected children’s books about mindfulness.
How to Use Quiet Coping Skills
When feelings of dysregulation arise, pair a simple mantra with a physical task to disrupt the escalation and allow self-regulatory functioning to work.
Tips:
Keep the mantras simple and to-the-point. You don’t need to say them out loud for them to be effective—repeating them in your head gives your mind a chance to recenter. Here are some examples:
I am ok.
I will do what I can.
This moment will pass.
I will get through this.
Keep the physical tasks low effort and sensorial. These are inconspicuous tasks, but perform them with intention—feel the muscles stretch, appreciate the gentle movement, inhale. Here are some examples:
Cheek stretches
Roll shoulders back to open the lungs
Squeeze toes together and release
Finger stretches
Gently tug earlobes
Roll ankles in a circular motion
Sip a cold or hot drink
The Power of Breath
Teaching kids mindful breathing exercises goes beyond just calming the mind; it empowers them with a lifelong skill of emotional regulation. These techniques enhance focus, reduce stress, and promote a sense of well-being. By incorporating simple and fun breathing exercises into their daily routine, children can build a foundation for better emotional health, improved concentration, and the ability to navigate life's challenges with a deep breath and a centered mind.
Recommended Materials to Promote Self-Regulation:
Feeling Cards
Feeling cards provide a visual and interactive way to explore a spectrum of feelings and coping skills. These cards can be used to facilitate open dialogue and help children articulate and navigate their emotions.
Acupressure Rings
Sensory stimulation toys offer a discreet outlet for restless energy and can promote focus, self-regulation, and emotional expression.
Yoga Ball Chair
Provide safe opportunities for movement. This yoga ball promotes sensory integration and body awareness in kids, which can enhance focus and emotional regulation.
Very First Book of Things to Spot
“A look-and-talk book for very young children, with simple, bright illustrations and lots to see and spot on every page.”
This book is great for toddlers who need a quiet moment to recenter themselves.
Fidget Popper
Fidget toys offer relief in moments of emotional tension or during arduous cognitive tasks.
Liquid Timer
Promote calm, mindful moments while practicing time management and adaptability skills.
A free printable version of this information is available in our Infographics Tab!
CLICK HERE to explore our pediatric mental and behavioral health infographics.
REFERENCES
Coping skills for children. (n.d.). St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. https://www.stjude.org/treatment/services/clinics-and-services/child-life/for-parents/children-coping-skills.html
Pediatric Coping Skills | Children’s Hospital Colorado. (n.d.). https://www.childrenscolorado.org/doctors-and-departments/departments/psych/mental-health-professional-resources/primary-care-articles/pediatric-coping-skills/
Promoting coping skills (News). (n.d.). Better Kid Care. https://extension.psu.edu/programs/betterkidcare/news/promoting-coping-skills
Unknown. (n.d.). 99 HEALTHY COPING SKILLS. https://www.akronchildrens.org/files/1236652/file/ach-99-healthy-coping-skills.pdf
